Deception is the act of intentionally misleading another, and may include complete falsifications (lies), distortion, or concealment of the truth. So how can we work on managing deceptive stress?
I worked thirty years as a private investigator and twenty years as a licensed lie detection examiner, so I have dealt with deception repeatedly. My purpose in this article is not to present ways to discover if someone is being deceptive but to relate what deception can do, why deceitful stress can affect health, and how to constructively deal with the problem.
My Story
In my role as a private investigator, deception was useful and actually considered a tool of the trade. For example, I might lie and say I’m looking for a stray dog to get a close-up view of a suspect. But when I administered lie detection tests, I saw firsthand how harmful deceit could be to personal and business relationships because it violates trust.
Even if you convince yourself a lie is all right, it still damages the dictates of conscience. Living a lie is psychologically unhealthy because you anxiously carry the burden, wondering if and when the truth will come out.
Currently, I write fiction but in plotting my latest book, Sweet Deceit, I drew on nonfiction factors regarding the causes and effects of deceptive emotional stress from experts as well as personal experience.
What Deceptive Stress Can Do
Deceptive stress contributes to disease. The effect of thought life on physical well-being has been well-documented. Here is a partial list of diseases caused or worsened by emotional stress compiled by S. I. McMillen, M.D. and David E. Stern, M. D. in None of These Diseases:
- Digestive system disorders
- Circulatory system disorders
- Nervous system disorders
- Allergies and immune system problems
- Inflammation of muscles and joints
- Cancer
- Infection
In other words, the effects of deception can impact all of your body’s systems. You have likely heard the expression, “You are what you eat.” But this list of diseases brings out an equally important concept to consider—“You are what you think.”
We are not only body but also spirit and soul (mind, will, and emotions). And all the parts work together and affect each other.
Why Deceptive Stress Affects Our Health
Deception’s by-product fuels negative emotions such as anger, hurt, disappointment, and frustration and in turn affects our mental and physical stability. In the book The Maker’s Diet by Jordan S. Rubin, he states that scientists have shown that our bodies essentially have two brains or nervous systems. One is the central nervous system and the other the enteric or intestinal nervous system. The two nervous systems link together through a neural cable called the vagus nerve.
Have you ever felt butterflies in your stomach or been told to follow your gut feeling? This is evidence that we have a brain and gut connection.
In my book Sweet Deceit, hero Will Brice as a youngster harbored feelings of guilt, misunderstanding, and hurt toward his father after his mother’s death. As an adult, those feelings continued and Will experiences physical issues—stomach tightening, jaw aching, and queasy feelings when old memories crop up.
But the good news is that a person does not have to fall victim to this stress.
How to Constructively Deal with Deceptive Stress
Since there are several health problems associated with negative stressors, it stands to reason that the antidote would be to intentionally combat the negative with something positive.
Here are four ways:
1. Appreciation
A study, cited in Dr. Michael D. Jacobson’s The Word on Health, found that people who experienced an episode of deep appreciation or love for even five minutes saw their antibodies to fight infection increase.
Brené Brown, research professor at the University of Houston, emphasizes that good aspects of life and giving thanks have a powerful impact on emotional wellbeing. To make her point, she quotes the saying of a Jesuit priest— “It’s not joy that makes us grateful, it’s gratitude that makes us joyful.”
2. Forgiveness
Forgiveness means fully accepting that a negative event has occurred and relinquishing our negative feelings surrounding the circumstance. Research shows that forgiveness can be learned and helps us experience better mental, emotional and physical health. The Stanford Forgiveness Project, training 260 adults in forgiveness in a 6-week course, demonstrated significant decreases in feelings of hurt and anger and fewer physical issues such as pain, gastrointestinal upset, and dizziness.
3. Convert the negative into positive
Terry Lyles, author of Performance Under Pressure, took this idea of constructive handling of stress a step further. He suggests dealing with setbacks by converting the negative into positive. For instance, if you enjoy gardening, go outside and weed or prune and convert potentially negative energy into positive.
In Sweet Deceit, the heroine as a child was hyperactive and prone to tell tall tales to gain attention. As an adult, she learned to convert her disruptive energy into something constructive. When she has a major conflict in the story, she converts overzealous energy into a sewing project that benefits others.
4. Lifestyle changes
Even simple positive lifestyle changes such as silencing your cell phone, sitting down to enjoy a meal with conversation (no electronic devices), and getting proper rest showed significant differences in stress levels.
In conclusion, deception may intentionally be misleading and harmful, but it can be dealt with by intentionally learning and using constructive methods for dealing with the stress. Although diet remains the premier element for good health, things such as lifestyle choices and mental and emotional stress must be considered for our overall well-being. The above findings substantiate the Scripture—“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: But a broken spirit drieth the bones. (Proverbs 17:22)
About the Author:
Sally Jo Pitts is an award-winning author who brings experience as a private investigator, licensed lie detection examiner, high school guidance counselor and home economics teacher to the fiction page. She worked thirty years alongside her late law enforcement husband in his private investigations agency, where she learned to teach by day and snoop by night. Currently, she draws on real-life experiences to pen faith-based stories of romance and mystery. Her works include the Hamilton Harbor Legacy romance series and the Seasons of Mystery detective series. Sweet Deceit is book one in the new Secrets of Sweet County series. Connect with her at sallyjopitts.com